A look at unexpected emotional flashbacks, shame spirals, and how healing doesn’t mean we never get triggered. 

I thought I was over it.

The hard thing.

The chapter I never signed up for.

The ache I’ve prayed through a hundred times.

I’ve gone to therapy.

Done the work.

Wrote the journal entries and whispered the prayers in the dark.

I’ve declared healing over myself like a benediction.

I’ve moved on—or so I thought.

But then something small happens.

Someone raises their voice.

Someone doesn’t see me.

Someone touches a nerve that goes way deeper than the present moment.

And suddenly I’m back there.

Not physically.

But emotionally—viscerally.

My stomach drops. My breath shortens. My mind scrambles for safety.

Fight, flight, freeze… I don’t even get to choose. My body chooses for me.

And then the emotions come:

Shame.

Anger.

Embarrassment.

Guilt.

Grief.

All crashing over me like waves that apparently haven’t gone out with the tide.

And here’s what I’ve had to remind myself—maybe you do too:

Healing isn’t linear.

You don’t graduate from trauma like it’s a diploma.

It doesn’t mean the work hasn’t worked.

It just means your story is layered.

Your body remembers.

And you, beautiful you, are still human.

I used to feel so frustrated when this would happen.

Now, I’m learning to be tender.

To meet myself in the moment with compassion.

To say,

“Of course you feel this way.

Of course that triggered something deep.

But look at you—you’re still here. Still standing. Still learning to hold yourself with grace.”

So if you’ve been thrown back into the old ache this week,

If you’re carrying around that butterfly-sick feeling in your belly,

If you’re judging yourself for reacting instead of responding…

I just want to say:

You’re not weak.

You’re not broken.

You’re being called deeper into the work of loving yourself with patience.

Because the goal of healing isn’t to never feel it again.

The goal is to not abandon yourself when it shows up.

⸻

With gentle grace for every layer,

🕊️

— J.

P.S. Do you have a place or a practice that helps bring you back to center after being triggered? I’d love to hear what’s helped you hold yourself with kindness